Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Infidelity: Would You Want to Know?

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Last month, The Huffington Post wrote an article called “Is Infidelity a Societal Problem?” (click on the title to see the article) where the author posited that maybe infidelity is really a problem that we need to look at differently as a society, with the possibility that the problem really isn’t infidelity---it’s monogamy! As someone who has entered into relationships in the past where monogamy was considered sacrosanct and expected, this article really got me thinking. Read on for more.

I understand that some people are absolutely 100% fine living in an open marriage, or they come to accept it after being together for years. No harm, no foul. What I’m interested in, though, is an answer to the question “would you want to know if your significant other was having an affair?” I’ve asked a couple of friends, colleagues and family members this question, which stemmed out of a real life situation.

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A couple of months ago, a acquaintance of mine learned that a close friend had been carrying on multiple affairs, some with people whom this person did not even know. I won’t get into the details, but not only was the cheater put into physical and emotional danger but also everyone in the family. Apparently this escalated to a point where my acquaintance couldn’t take it anymore and informed the spouse that this was happening. The results are predictable—the cheater lies, the spouse apparently knows that something has been wrong for several years and my acquaintance is being blamed (by the cheater) for causing problems in the marriage. Knowing all the details of the situation, I believe that my acquaintance did the right thing and I would want to know if my husband was having an affair.

How about you? If you were friends with the cheater, the “cheatee” or both, what would you do? Would you want to know if your partner or spouse was cheating? Leave a comment in the comment  box or on FaceBook!